CLARKSVILLE, TN (CLARKSVILLE NOW) – Susan’s Place is a transgender peer support website that Susan Larson started as a way to blog about her transitioning process. Little did she know at the time that her story would inspire millions, and her site would become one of the largest resources for transgender people in the world.

Larson told Clarksville Now coming out in a less than accepting environment has allowed her to become an influence for many transgender people today, which is why she started her blog. Susan’s Place

Susan’s Place is a Clarksville-based online forum with over 30,000 members from all around the world.

The website features a space for LGBTQ+, but specifically, trans people, to have discussions with one another and find community with each other.Larson manages this site and has done so since 1995.

“I’ve been running Susan’s Place for close to 27 years now, and when I started it, it was more about getting support for myself. But as it grew and the community developed, it became more about helping others,” Larson said.

In addition to chat services and a Discord channel for members, the site also houses articles about the arts, LGBTQ+ bills, and more.

The website’s slogan is, “we stand at the crossroads of gender, balanced on the sharp edge of a knife.” Early influences

Growing up, Larson said, she felt that something was wrong at as young as 4 or 5, but couldn’t put a name to it until she saw an advertisement for a documentary at the age of 7 that gave a little bit of background on transgender people.

“You’re bullied because no matter how hard you try, you’re not perceived by your peers as right or normal,” Larson said. “Unfortunately, back then, trans kids were forced to hide themselves and weren’t able to get treatment when they were young.”

Larson said she knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it until she was 18, and at the age of 23, she started taking hormones.

“I came out as an adult because I was pretty sure that my family wouldn’t support it,” Larson told Clarksville Now. “I realized that this is something that society sees as a negative even though it’s not.”

“As I went along, we had Christine Jorgensen who was one of the early trans people in the public eye. We had Renee Richards who was a tennis player that sued for the right to play in sports,” Larson described some of the transgender people who influenced her in her youth.

Larson also mentioned Nashville native Calpernia Addams as an influence on her. Addams was a drag queen who became well known in Clarksville for dating a Fort Campbell soldier, Barry Winchell, who was later murdered by another soldier for his relationship with Addams.

“There have been multiple instances throughout the years in Clarksville where people were killed or hurt seriously due to their sexual orientation or gender identity,” Larson said. “The only thing that cures it is to become who you are inside”

After the incident with Addams spread word, Larson went back into hiding, and started detransitioning.

“I started feeling unsafe,” Larson said. “I started dressing up in public, I had long fingernails, and this was in the early 90s, but after that I went back into the closet and I didn’t come out until 2016.”

Larson said that many transgender people spend their lives in the closet and try to live normal lives according to the stereotypes assigned to their birth gender.

“Many get married, have kids, try to live a normal life, it never works. Frequently, you turn to drugs, alcohol, or even suicide, you want to die. I even prayed for death.”

“The only thing that cures it is to become who you are inside, to accept who you are and who you were meant to be,” Larson told Clarksville Now. Susan Larson on New Years in 2020 (Susan Larson, contributed) Coming of age

Larson began publicly transitioning in the 1990s, after coming out to her friends and family. A couple of years after she started Susan’s Place.

She was born in California, which gave her more freedom to make the changes she deemed necessary to her identity, such as legally changing her birth certificate, which is something that is still not permitted in the state of Tennessee.

“I felt the same from the time I was 4 years old to 40 years old, or 50 years old,” Larson said. “My gender identity has never changed, not even once.”

In 2016, she came back out publicly on Facebook, in an online letter she wrote:

“Telling someone that you are transgender is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do. Before you tell them it feels like you are carrying a bowling ball in your stomach. After you tell them, and they accept you, it’s like being on a rocket ship to the moon.”

You can read the full letter here.

One of the community members from Susan’s Place stepped up and funded her bottom surgery at the end of 2016.

“I actually for a long time thought that I would never be able to transition because of the financial aspect,” Larson said.

In January of 2017, Larson was able to get surgery in Thailand, and when a clinic heard the work she was doing with Susan’s Place, they donated $25,000 worth of facial feminization surgery to her. Susan Larson at the Preecha Aesthetic Institute post-surgery posted on February 7, 2017 (Susan Larson, Contributed)

Larson said there are two sides of acceptance for trans and gender non-conforming people: One side is gender euphoria, where the individual is accepted and given the space to be who they are through their expressions, clothes, or even gender-affirming procedures and therapies.

The opposite is gender dysphoria, which Larson said is hard to describe if you haven’t been faced with it firsthand. It goes beyond misgendering or deadnaming someone.

“I once described gender dysphoria as looking into a mirror and seeing an alien looking back at you – someone that you don’t recognize as yourself,” Larson said.

This was a feeling Larson said she was way too familiar with in the early stages of her transition.

“You look in the mirror and start to see an alien looking back at you with your real self being trapped inside helpless,” Larson said. “It gets to the point where you no longer want to see your reflection again due to the pain it causes you, when your own voice betrays you every time you speak, when your body no longer represents who you are.”

Larson said that people making a conscious decision to call someone the opposite gender of what they desire to be referenced as is harmful.

Larson went through several surgeries, which she says finally allowed for “her soul to match her body.”

“Trans people are not mentally ill, we’re not freaks, we’re fighting a terrible genetic or biological mistake,” Larson said. “We don’t ask for your approval even though that would be nice too, however, we rightfully demand your acceptance.” Pushing past criticism

Although Larson has been outspoken for a while about her sexuality and gender identity, she still receives threats of violence or cyber-bullies suggesting she should harm herself.

“Running a forum with 30,000 members tends to toughen your skin a little bit,” Larson said. “The best way to understand the trans community is by getting to know trans individuals, once you know somebody, it’s harder to be fearful of them.”

Larson encourages people to keep an open mind and to understand that there are more similarities than differences among everyone if only we choose to see it.

“We’re people too. We’re not something to fear. We’re not people who live a life any different than you do,” Larson said, “When I first started transitioning, if people told me I’d be where I’m at today, I wouldn’t believe them.”

She said some of the changes she would enjoy seeing locally would be seeing a Pride festival return to Clarksville, as well as more local groups that present information and safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community.

“Pride is a protest; it’s trans people standing up and saying we want to be treated in society in a manner that every other person on this planet expects (to be treated),” Larson said.

“I’m out and happy, and you can be too,” Larson said. For more PFLAG: An informational site founded in 1973 for parents and allies of the LGBTQ+ community. Susan’s Place: A support site for transgender people, including a blog, news in the LGBTQ+ community, and chat. The Trevor Project: The world’s largest site for crisis prevention and advocacy among LGBTQ+ people.

Angela Peterson is a graduate assistant at Austin Peay State University and a broadcast reporter at ClarksvilleNow.com. You can reach her at apeterson@5starradio.com.